Things are different now. I'm teaching in a totally different situation. And it is amazing. Nobody is for show. I can imagine developing meaningful relationships with all my coworkers. I actually enjoy the curriculum in general and am given the freedom to develop and execute it. Everything I believe in, foundationally as an educator, is accepted and promoted here.
The school is unstable. It's unclear if we will survive the year financially. If we do, I'm not totally sure if I can survive the job at the end of the year financially, if the school can afford me. Teacher pay is shitty enough, but this school pays a lot less than others. Right now this concerns me only a little. There is so much reward and enjoyment in the kids and the staff that it's really refreshing to love my job again, in every way that I imagined and did before.
And maybe this is the difference? I love my time with my co teacher and students so much that the bullshit of strange decisions and job instability are actually in the background for the first time.
I just need to pull back a little. It's Friday night; I'm sick with exhaustion. Literally thought I was coming down with a flu but just needed to sleep the ick off.
I have a few more big things on my plate like finding a place to live that makes sense for my dogs and my urban wants, networking and meeting new people, and getting involved in some social issues. Work is sorting itself out, finding its niche, and soon I'll etch out some balance again.